Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
