so let's talk penis.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
