My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
