Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
