Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
