she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
