when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
