ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
