You're so nebulous sometimes
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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