I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
