Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
