I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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