I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
