addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
