On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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