I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
