whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
