on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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