Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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