Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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