it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
