So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
