I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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