You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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