I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
