i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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