THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
