woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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