he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
