I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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