Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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