Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
