Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Operation Purity has been aborted
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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