I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Randomize
