guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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