how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
