Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
