I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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