its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
