oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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