Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
wakey wakey hands off snakey
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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