STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
