Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Every concussion has its silver lining
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
