whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Is Oprah even human
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
