Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
