No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize