he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
