are you still at the devil's house?
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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