pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
