So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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