Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
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Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
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I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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