I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
