At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
