someone get that fucking seahorse.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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