3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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