hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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