So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just want nice things and good sex
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
