sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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