new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just cropdusted the office
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
