Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
