I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
