What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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