i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
