Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
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after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
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He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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