like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
