God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
