I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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