He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
